My! Gay! Husband!

Regular readers should know I'm not a fan of punctuation in band names. What is wrong with "My Gay Husband?" (question mark not included, although that would still be a big improvement over the exclamation points.) With the exclamation points, I want to say the name in cheerleader style: MY (clap) GAY (clap) HUSBAND (shake pom poms)!

MGH is a DJ in Vancouver. I'll grant that he has some pretty spiffy promo posters. The one I like most is above. He has appointed himself "le prince de la rave rap." How does one dress to see rave rap? Lots of bling and a green wig?

I found this name on a list of the best SxSW band names this year, which is quite a treasure trove.

My! Gay! Husband!: 1.8

Sistas in the Pit

I'm going to see Iggy Pop next week, and two bands are opening for him: Sistas in the Pit and The High Class Elite. I predict a fight backstage.

Sistas: The High Class Elite Man is trying to bring us down!
High Class: Climb out of the pit and join the rest of society!

I'm not sure how I feel about names that use the vernacular (i.e. sistas vs. sisters). I know that I feel like a dork when I say "Da Ali G show," because I have very little of that rhythm thing. But I think the sistas can carry it off. Maybe The High Clas Elite should call themselves Da High Class Elite.

Sistas in the Pit: 6.3
The High Class Elite: 2.5

Lesbians on Ecstasy

I was a little afraid of what I might find when I googled this band name. But "lezzies on x" seem very nice and are from Montreal, a beautiful city that I'll be visiting very soon. Their philosophy/ raison d'etre (en francais out of respect for Quebec) is to put down the acoustic guitar and back away from the multi-part harmonies that lesbian music so often (heck, always) reveres. They're throwing away the chambray and taking it to the dance floor, bitches!

The name is obviously over the top, but it's so out there that I respect it. I wonder how many frat boys stumble into their shows looking for a hot time? If you're in the closet and don't want to be, I think leaving a Lesbians on Ecstasy ticket out when your parents come to visit is probably a good conversation starter.

Lesbians on Ecstasy: 7.1

Fu-Schnickens

I dare you to try saying this name using your normal speaking voice. It just can't be done.

The group gives an explanation of their name (something about a coalition of unity) that scores high on the bs-meter. The band members used pseudonyms Chip Fu, Moc Fu, and Poc Fu. This isn't a band, it's a takeout menu. However, the name is certainly memorable and fun. Unfortunately, the Fu-Schnickens' oeuvre has not held up as well as their name. The picture at the top shows the Fu-Schnickens' namesake: a gay basketball team in San Francisco who captured the spring tournament championship in 2005, narrowly beating a band--I mean team--named Contact High.

Fu-Schnickens: 6.3

Scissor Sisters

The Scissor Sisters' original name was Dead Lesbian and the Fibrillating Scissor Sisters. While the longer name certainly produces quite a mental picture, the shorter name is much better. It's fun to say and your parents probably won't get the sexual reference (though to be fair, I didn't either until I researched it).

The Scissor Sisters have something else going for them: a well-designed logo, which appears above. Not too many bands have logos, and I think that is a mistake. For one thing, a logo probably helps move merchandise. At their recent concert, the merch stand had a full line of logo-ed products, including earrings and a vinyl pillow whose purpose I am afraid to guess at. My group kept our eyes on an older (sixty-ish) couple in the balcony who had a logo-ed poster with them. They looked bored or uncomfortable until the show started, at which point they nodded their heads to a few of the songs. We figured they were related to the band, but it was the kind of show that was fun for all ages. Or perhaps I should say for all those old enough to buy tickets to an R-rated movie, because some elements of the show were pretty risque. But as band member Ana Matronic commented, what do you expect from a band named after a lesbian sexual position?

Scissor Sisters: 8.8

Lamb of God (and other bands who may or may not be Christian)

This post was originally going to be about The Promise Ring, one of the most famous emo bands. If I didn't know their music, I'd guess they were a Christian band, since promise rings are supposed to be symbols of a couple who want to remain virgins until marriage. At least, that's my understanding. I only know what the documentaries tell me about evangelicals. The Promise Ring is not a very good name. It makes me feel icky, much like the concept of promise rings.

You would definitely think Lamb of God was a Christian band, right? Not so much. They are a "groove metal" band formerly known as Burn the Priest. Burn the Priest is a great name, especially for a metal band. It makes you wanna set stuff on fire.

Although I really hate their music, Creed is a good band name. It's short, suits their musical style, and hints at the group's Christian roots.

Lamb of God: 2.0
The Promise Ring: 2.2
Burn the Priest: 7.6
Creed: 8.0